[ronnieo]

You can only stand a complainer for long. Birds of a feather flock together. So if you want to deal with complainers, you'll need to show them how to problem-solve.
Chronic complainers are problem behavioral types who tend to think that it is their job to point out all the problems with the world, while it's your job to fix them. Most Complainers feel helpless and do not understand even the first step in the problem solving process. The trick in dealing with complainer is to get them to think as problem solvers without allowing them to draw you into their constant complaining. Here are five tips to help you handle complainers.
_____1. Never try to solve their problems. Any solution that you propose will only be met with more complaints and the thousand reasons why nothing ever works.
_____2. Never verbally agree with a complainer. Even if you do agree with them, never admit your agreement. Complainers usually take agreements as an invitation to complain some more.
_____3. Whenever complainers grumble, as them open-ended questions designed to get them thinking about the problem and the problem solving process. Open-ended questions include any question that cannot be answered with a yes or no. The best open-ended questions usually begin with who, what, why, where, or how. These are questions like, "So what do you want to do about it?" "So what do you think caused it?' "So why haven't you spoken to the people involved?"
_____4. Most importantly, resist all of your natural impulses to offer them suggestions. Every suggestion you make will only be met with more reasons why suggestions never work. Instead, respond to everything they say with a question. Put the responsibility for changing their situations squarely in their laps.
_____5. If you want to end the conversation, but they keep talking, try setting a time limit. Tell them something like, "I need to go in a few seconds, so what exactly do you need to tell me before I go." Usually after this, you can gently disengage the conversation.
I'll leave you with a bottom line for handling Complainers. Above all, resist offering Complainers solutions, or answers. Every solution you offer will only be met by more excuses, grumbles and complaints. So respond to everything that they say with a question. By continually asking questions, you can sometimes get Grumblers to start looking for answers on their own. Who knows, they might even come up with a solution. But more likely, they will simply shake their heads at you before going off to complain at someone else. Either way, at least they are no longer complaining to you...

Copyright Lynn Marie Sager 2008


Sound like someone here?LOL.