[Jabba]

Thought you'd like this...


Naval Air Pilot 's Manual
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Blue water Navy truism:
There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,
you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club


What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, ..the pilot dies.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation
are:
"Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh S--t"

Airspeed, altitude and brains.
Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII:
When a crash seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum.

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the sucker down.

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time.

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules:

Try to stay in the middle of the air.
Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, and trees. It is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

[WildBill]

Thanks Palmer, i needed a good laugh today